The power of empathy in the workplace (staff edition)


Ask anyone, when I was a teenager I was the most empathetic person you would ever meet! To the point where it hurt me when others were hurt and I felt joy from others' joy. At one point in my life someone told me being empathetic was for those people that were too weak to tell the hard truth, those people who were push-overs, those people who let others dictate their lives. I was foolish and I believed them... So I started guarding myself against my own empathy for others. Anytime I thought about how they must feel I tuned it out because I thought I could fight the "weakness". Let me tell you, that was one of the biggest mistakes I've ever made on both a business and a personal level.

An ability to be empathetic is NOT a weakness. It is one of the most widely underestimated super-powers we humans possess! Merriam-Webster defines empathy as "the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings of another of either the past or present without having the feelings, thoughts, and experience fully communicated in an objectively explicit manner." Basically to be empathetic is to be able to understand someone else's feelings, thoughts, intentions or needs without having them fully explain their reasons. Don't get it confused with sympathy. To be empathetic doesn't mean you have to agree with the reasons someone feels the way they do, it just means you have to understand how they got to that point.
 
One day someone told me I should try to "discipline with love"... this really got me thinking. Why should I do this? And what does that really mean to me? The answers came to me when I examined how I typically dealt with difficult people (especially my staff). I will admit I was a hard-ass kind of boss. I have a reason for wanting things done a certain way and I figured my employees should do it that way because I asked them to and that should be enough. I couldn't understand why they sometimes didn't and it drove me nuts. Upon reflection of this whole "discipline with love" business, I realized two things: 1) I couldn't expect my staff to do something just because they were told to do it. That simply wasn't a good enough reason to expect anyone to do anything. And frankly, in hindsight, it was disrespectful... 2) If my staff couldn't do their job because they didn't understand the reason behind what I wanted then maybe I couldn't do my job to the fullest either because I wasn't truely examining why they weren't doing what I asked (Boom!! Mind blown!!)
 
I took this pretty little theory of mine and put it to the test. Firstly, I started really trying to explain my reasoning for any big decision I made. I tried to educate my staff on the whys of some of the business decisions (non-confidential stuff obviously). They, in turn, were much more comfortable taking direction because they learned to trust that I had thoroughly contemplated every action I took. Secondly, when a staff member wasn't willing to follow direction, instead of getting frustrated, I went through a checklist. 1) Have I properly empowered them to take the action I want them to take? 2) Have I explained the reason this action is important? 3) Is there some other external reason they cannot perform this action? 4) (This is the most important one) If I were in their position would I be able to take the action that's been directed???
 
That last one is the kicker... that was the one that really helped me see things from their point of view. Maybe there was something going on at home, maybe they were sick, maybe they were having issues with a co-worker, maybe they didn't understand the direction. Whatever the case, I needed to be open to the fact that everyone is human and being human means being imperfect. Putting myself in their  helped me see what they needed from me in order to empower them to be the best they could be at their jobs.
 
So why should you be more empathetic towards your staff?
Here are 5 quick reasons:
1. You will be less frustrated when they don't follow direction.
2. Your staff will feel like their needs are being taken into account and be more willing to follow direction.
3. Your staff will be more empathetic towards their co-workers, customers, and you (lead by example).
4. Your relationship with your staff will be strengthened.
5. All this leads to greater collaboration and increased productivity.
 
The power of empathy is unlimited and one of our greatest super-powers. By harnessing the power of empathy you will find, if you give them a chance, everyone has something amazing to offer.
 
Taya de Baat
Owner
Taylynn Bookkeeping

Taylynnbooks@shaw.ca
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